I ♥ Music

Friday, October 03, 2008

this is retarded. I am retarded. cant believe i screwed up my sec4 results, which is basically equivalent to screwing up my entire secondary school, wasting all 4 years.

everything i've worked hard for. HAH. yeah right. everything i've slacked hard for i mean. hmm ok, maybe give myself some credit. worked hard for for the first 2 years, slacked hard for the next 2.

RARR. but i shall skip all the boohoo-i'm-so-pathetic-i'm-so-sad-i-did-so-badly-i-wanna-die-i-hate-my-life-part. this is what i deserve right. we reap what we sow, so how much i get, merely just reflects how hard i've studied for it, which is HAHAH.

there has to be more to life than just studying hard and getting good results. there has to. i mean, not everybody can be geniuses and like score A+s in everything and get scholarships and everything right. or there are also some people who just cant make the cut and get a gpa >3.2. and i believe they too dont just sit, rot and die out there in the society either, they still live quite well. so, doing badly in exams are nothing! i repeat, NOTHING.

its just another phase in your life, secondary school. it doesnt determine everything. its not as if ok, i did badly, i wont be able to do the subject combination in mind, i wont get a good job, i'll just be earning meagre amounts of money, scraping by day to day, hoping i wont be evicted from my house by not paying rent or paying the bank or whatever shit. RIGHT?

so yay! this is nothing. and no one and not even myself should make me feel bad about it. there's nothing to feel bad about. its just some numbers that i didnt get enough of this one time. i'll still be able to lead a good life next time. its not about your results now, its about your attitude towards work, how hard you're willing to work for the things you want. and i've got that, so there's absolutely nothing to be worried about!

there has to be something out there for me, my purpose in life. maybe i'm here to inspire others, or help save lives, or change lives, or make people into better people. or maybe i'm just here to give joy to people, or just make money for people by working for them -.- but whatever it is, i'm sure it doesnt like need everything we learn about now, like physics or biology.

or maybe i dont even want to work. maybe i'll be lucky and manage to just marry a rich guy. whoo then i'll just live off him and not need to worry about money or getting a job or whatever working people worry about. i'll just bother about my family. HAHA. who needs physics or bio or chinese then.

whatever it is, as long as i've got my spirit, heart, soul, my cello, a good positive attitude and abit of my medulla oblongata, thats enough to carry me through life, and in whatever i do!

yay me!

ok this was a good session of self-deception, self-denial, and self-comfortment.

all is well. all's good, all's good.

(: