I ♥ Music

Friday, October 31, 2008

when i saw this picture, i dunno why, but it struck me so hard.
i guess cos it looks so lonely and empty..

Friday, October 31, 2008

i woke up like damn early today. ok, 8 is not that early for most days, but for a holiday, or even a weekend, that's early. HAHA. was awoken by this weird dream, though i could have continued to sleep, cos it was quite pleasant, but still weird.

anyway, i went to search and interpret the dream, said it symbolised that i was trying to find myself, cos i may currently have been doing some soul searching. hmm.. ya think?

bleargh went to the library today. start of the holidays, thought i'd get some books to read lol. wah and i confirm that bedok is the weirdest place that i've ever been to. haha sorry, but seriously, everytime i'm there, some weird things happen to me, or i meet really weird people there, or stumble upon weird situations. lol. rarr and i can never find a straight route to the library, always only blindly trying to find my way there. haha lucky i like it, i'm like always doing that -.- its damn fun lah, just go to an unknown place and find your way around by yourself (:

stayed in the library and browsed for an hour, bleargh. i can never find anything there -.- or maybe i just dont know how to or what to look for haha. so in the end i just decided to get any book i see and leave, if not i'd still be stuck there now LOL.

yay then i took my long lone walk home from there, a nice breezy half hour walk.

then something funny happened while i walked past East Meadows. a lady and her son came out of the entrance of the condo and she was like reprimanding her son, "you almost got hit by the car, you know! did you know that?!". he being about only 4 years old, was happily chewing something in his mouth and looked like he didnt understand the situation at all, or know that his mother was even angry at him. and after that, the lady, holding his hand, jaywalked across the road.

talk about irony man.

hmm, time to change my blogskin soon.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

ITS THE END OF JUNIOR HIGH!! T.T

lol man, time really really passed by damn fast. it felt like just yesterday i came into class, sat down right at the back at the corner, and nicole yim just asked me if i wanted to sit next to her. that was the first day of school in sec1 -.-

anyway, but really, its super fast lah. can't believe it's been 2 years in 3i/4i.

bleargh, not really in the mood to emo now. i know it is the end, but it just still doesnt feel like the end yet. maybe it just hasnt sunk into my skull yet LOL, afterall i am a bit slow hahaha. but we'll still see each other next year anyway LOL. or rather, in a week's time, for HCL O's!

RARHAHAHA.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

'Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well.'
- Lord Chesterfield.

that's why its either i do it my best, or dont do it at all LOL. which basically describes my homework. (:

Thursday, October 23, 2008

生米已煮成熟饭。

i learnt this from prida today. haha. she actually translated my simple 'what's done is done and cannot be undone' into this cheem phrase, or at least to me it is, not that i cant understand it.

anyway yep, true enough, i said it myself anyway, i cant look back and regret, or wished i hadnt done this or that anymore. in this case, wished i had done it earlier. i can only look forward and play my cards from the hand that i'm given now. or rather, the hand that i've caused myself to get. i deserve it anyway, from the amounts of effort i did, or did not, put in.

actually i did, but i just dont know how or why it landed me here. i guess its just my inconsistency in work this year, compared to the first 2 years. wow it really fooled me into thinking i'm actually smart. LOL. then i reviewed my results, from way back into primary school, and now after 9 years, i suddenly see the light. i didnt even get really fabulous results then either. it was good enough, you cant deny that, in that context and environment that is. but now in 3i and 4i, oh man, things are just way different, everyone's different and their styles and attitudes are too.

i just realised that too late and didnt change from before.

***
AHHH!! oh man i hope they will accept me!! i want to play with the little children, and i want the $900! although i really have not much use for it now haha. it just feels good to have that money though, even though its really not much HAHA.

ooh and shangyin is renovating! omg its really starting to look like a real music studio like yamaha or cristofori. hahaha. and i cant wait for one of the sec3s to quick bring a good cello, preferably my old multi-cracked cello, to replace the lousy one and we'll have great lessons from then on!! yay! LOL.

rarr and its 4 days of school left before... before..

BEFORE THE END OF SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE!!!!
can time just please stop now? :D

anyway, its so funny that commencement day is put before graduation night. like commencement then graduation?? LOL.

blah i'm talking rubbish now.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

yesterday when i was just sixteen,

i stepped on a piece of bread (on purpose LOL),
chased a flock of pigeons,
ran into and through a whole area of mosquito fog while holding our breaths,
wanted to book a room in cineleisure but forgot we were in school uniforms -.-,
sat at long john for the rest of the afternoon and did stupid things and talked about stupid things,
laughed until i fell off the chair (ok actually joanne pushed me off but cos i was still laughing i couldnt get up -.-),
tried to touch our noses with our tongues when joanne started licking the air to try and taste it -.-,
went window shopping around cine,
went home.

all the stupid things i love to do. hahaha. i wished i was 10 again LOL.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

i'm sixteen!

Friday, October 10, 2008

OMG i'm gonna perform with nicole!! i'm actually playing with a symphony orchestra!!! damn cool! i'd thought of wanting to play with a symphony orchestra one day, but not so soon LOL. and i'm gonna perform with nicole!

LOL i didnt even know what kind of orchestra was it until i went for my first practice today. couldnt even find the place -.- then when i finally did, i went in and saw violins and trombone. then i went O.o, this isn't chinese orchestra one ar? LOL.

WHEE!! i dont care if its lousy or whatever, or if we're just merely accompanying a choir consisting of old people with damn powerful voices. i'm actually doing something else!!

Friday, October 03, 2008

this is retarded. I am retarded. cant believe i screwed up my sec4 results, which is basically equivalent to screwing up my entire secondary school, wasting all 4 years.

everything i've worked hard for. HAH. yeah right. everything i've slacked hard for i mean. hmm ok, maybe give myself some credit. worked hard for for the first 2 years, slacked hard for the next 2.

RARR. but i shall skip all the boohoo-i'm-so-pathetic-i'm-so-sad-i-did-so-badly-i-wanna-die-i-hate-my-life-part. this is what i deserve right. we reap what we sow, so how much i get, merely just reflects how hard i've studied for it, which is HAHAH.

there has to be more to life than just studying hard and getting good results. there has to. i mean, not everybody can be geniuses and like score A+s in everything and get scholarships and everything right. or there are also some people who just cant make the cut and get a gpa >3.2. and i believe they too dont just sit, rot and die out there in the society either, they still live quite well. so, doing badly in exams are nothing! i repeat, NOTHING.

its just another phase in your life, secondary school. it doesnt determine everything. its not as if ok, i did badly, i wont be able to do the subject combination in mind, i wont get a good job, i'll just be earning meagre amounts of money, scraping by day to day, hoping i wont be evicted from my house by not paying rent or paying the bank or whatever shit. RIGHT?

so yay! this is nothing. and no one and not even myself should make me feel bad about it. there's nothing to feel bad about. its just some numbers that i didnt get enough of this one time. i'll still be able to lead a good life next time. its not about your results now, its about your attitude towards work, how hard you're willing to work for the things you want. and i've got that, so there's absolutely nothing to be worried about!

there has to be something out there for me, my purpose in life. maybe i'm here to inspire others, or help save lives, or change lives, or make people into better people. or maybe i'm just here to give joy to people, or just make money for people by working for them -.- but whatever it is, i'm sure it doesnt like need everything we learn about now, like physics or biology.

or maybe i dont even want to work. maybe i'll be lucky and manage to just marry a rich guy. whoo then i'll just live off him and not need to worry about money or getting a job or whatever working people worry about. i'll just bother about my family. HAHA. who needs physics or bio or chinese then.

whatever it is, as long as i've got my spirit, heart, soul, my cello, a good positive attitude and abit of my medulla oblongata, thats enough to carry me through life, and in whatever i do!

yay me!

ok this was a good session of self-deception, self-denial, and self-comfortment.

all is well. all's good, all's good.

(: