I was bored today, although i did a few things: scolded my brothers this morning (you dont want to know what sin or crime they committed.), went out to meet yeesee after that, played the piano when i came back, left for tm to meet eli, set off for my piano lesson afterwards and came back.

boring huh. haha.

anyway.. but throughout the whole day today, one thing kept going through my mind.

: me and my life.

why? i dont know. but things just kept going on and on in there. so.. to relieve myself my boredom and to let those people who's dying to know MUA.. i shall share those silly things with the world.

My name is Yong Jia Yin.
The name was chosen by my aunt.
It means something like very good and fine and musical.
I'm trying to make myself like my name since so many people say it sounds very nice.
I didnt used to like it a lot cos i myself couldnt pronounce it.
I find myself in an awkward situation whenever someone asks for my name cos i wont know how to tell them.
So when someone asks for my name, if there's another person accompanying me, i'll just say "uhh...", pretend to be shy, and hopefully that person will tell them for me, whichever way he or she pronounces my name.
My secondary school friends call me JY, but my primary school friends call me by my proper name.
When my sec school friends call me JiaYin, it sounds really funny to me. but when my pri school friends call me that, somehow it sounds so warm. haha.

I wear my watch all the time, even when i'm sleeping, but except when i'm bathing. duh.
I feel really lost without a watch, more lost than when i'm without my hp.
My hair is always tied up in a ponytail, in the same position, 18 hours a day, 365 days a year.
I never let my hair down, except after i wash it, cos it looks funny.
Somehow my hair is red, gold, brown and black in colour. nice huh.
But the sad thing is, its REALLY frizzy.
When i was young, whenever it was my birthday, i used to wish for perfect teeth so i wont have to visit the dentist anymore, then whoosh, out the fire goes. haha.
I'm reasonably tan, but somehow people say i'm very dark.
In the past, when people asked me why i'm so tan, i used to reply cos i swim alot.
Now, when i think of it again, i never really swam that much.
Now, i never really swim at all, yet i'm still getting tanner. haha.
I have a super limited amount of clothes in my wardrobe, so its not unusual to see me wearing my clothes over and over again.
Because of my lack of clothes, i cant dress myself up. heh.
I have not worn a skirt for 2 years now, excluding school uniform of course.
One reason to it could be cos i only have 1 skirt hanging up in my wardrobe.
I have only worn that once, when i was forced to for my P6 farewell party.
Another reason is cos i just dont like the idea of a skirt or dress :)

I absolutely hate vulgarities and seldom or never use them. except for wl and shit. haha.
I can't be alone with only one person at a time cos i'll have nothing to say and will feel very awkward.
Unless of course i'm very close to that person, then i'll start talking non-stop. lol.
But then again, i'm not very close with many people.
Being more of an introvert, i wont just go up to someone to talk to that person. usually its the other way around :)
I also dont like calling people cos i wont have anything to say to them after saying what i HAVE to say, which is the only reason why i MAY call them up in the first place.
If someone calls me, i'll usually just listen and not talk so much, only to respond maybe, cos i have nothing to say.
Unless i have things to say, but usually i'm not given the chance to.
I like meeting different people and getting to know them, cos i feel its an eye opener and gives me different perspectives.
But usually they dont know me :)
I'm more of a person to sit at the back and observe people go by, and listen to their conversations sometimes =X
But thats also one way i get to get exposed to stuff thats going on outside my boring life.
I try to mix more with people and try to be more open, but i feel uncomfortable, so i'd rather just stay at the back, or at least to myself :)
I think alot about even the littlest of stuff, but most stuff goes through my head and stays in it, and seldom comes out of my mouth.
When i say think alot, i mean think ABOUT it, not INTO it. thats 2 different things.
I'm currently learning to voice out my opinions and what i have to say and not just keep it to myself, cos i'm tired of being a pushover.
My life is led by practicality and philosophies decided by myself.

I lead a very simple and smiley life :))
I laugh alot and i dont have a normal laugh.
My laughing comes very naturally and spontaneously, sometimes at the wrong moments and it can get me into trouble or even feel offensive to some people.
Thats when sometimes it triggers me to maybe try to stop laughing so much.
But usually, i can't.
I'm happy most of the time cos i dont see a point in getting so upset over stuff if you can just let go of it and move on.
Sometimes i'd rather just give in to people if it means solving a problem or preventing an argument or disagreement.
But if i feel the person is being too ridiculous, then i'd fight it out.
I dont need the world to know that i'm right, or that i'm good. i'm happy just knowing i am.
When i see people in public laugh or smile happily, i feel happy for them, even if they're laughing to themselves, really.
Others may just disregard them and maybe even think they're crazy or whatever. if this be the case, i'd say being the crazy one is far better, cos at least you're happy while the other is just expressing their displeasure all the time.

And also because i'm usually the crazy one laughing to myself :D
I also try not to complain too much and just enjoy what i have, or whatever situation i'm in and make the best of it.
You'd rather be happy where you are than fret about everything.
I try my best not to judge people so quickly now, or worst, at first sight, cos in my past experiences, i've been wrong about most of them.
I believe that everyone has a completely different side to them.

I love colours and music and making music.
Colours make me feel happy and warm.
Music soothes me and puts me in a calm mood.
I can play my cello or piano the whole day and wont mind it.
Somehow, i get very angry and frustrated when i dont get to eat spaghetti when i want to eat it.
I admit, thats very weird and annoying to me, cos i hate that feeling when i get it.
Makes me want to pull out all my hair, but i dont know which is causing it. not getting to eat, or the angry feeling that i get. lol.
I am a serious tv addict. i can sit in front of the tv all day long.
I've done that many times actually. ahha.
Even though there's absolutely nothing nice to watch, i'd still be flipping through the channels. at least i'm still watching bits of stuff, and it passes time.
I love ALL my friends, family and relatives and i get the warm feeling all over me when i think of them and all the good times we had.
Same goes for when i look through photos.
Thats one reason why i love flipping and going through all the photos i can get hold of.
I think i'm afraid to like (like as in crush.) people cos i wont know what to do if i do, but when i think i do i get very denial.
I think that babies and little children are very very cute and i get all excited whenever i see them. lol.
Sometimes i also admire them for being so innocent and wish i could be them. haha.
I think that my body is all screwed up cos i dont sleep alot at all.
My usual bedtime is 11-1am on schooldays and now during the holidays, i can stay awake till 5am and not feel sleepy AT ALL. But i'd wake up at 3pm when i finally do fall asleep. heh.
When i'm sleepy but have to keep awake, i do funny things and even go hyper.
When i'm with my close friends, i also can go very high and crazy.
When i'm not with close friends, i go all silent. lol.

I love sports and the outdoors.
I love running around and playing under the sun.
Sometimes i feel like superman, getting my energy from the sun. haha.
I dont like rain but love the temperature and weather AFTER a rainfall, when the sun shines down onto the leaves that are dripping wet and the raindrops sparkle in the sunlight.
Sometimes i wish i could be a bird and fly up into the big blue sky, and feel so free where the world up there has no boundaries.
I find it hard to accept the fact that no one is perfect and that we all lack somethings.
Just like how i do music, a considerable amount of sports and am quite ok with my studies, i cant dance and do art. haha.
I find it very shameful that both my languages are so poor, although i dont know why my english is, but for chinese, i am ashamed.
So, i am now trying to improve my chinese, but to no avail, cos i seriously sound bad and funny.
But it would really help if i had some help.

I don't like to give up doing something i'm already into halfway and it justs annoys me and gets me really frustrated if i cant solve a problem.

I hate competition and usually just avoid it. haha.

I think i'm actually scared of it... ? whoa.

But when i'm sorta in one, hey.. sometimes i find i'm doing quite well. haha.
I find proud and show-off people very annoying and irritating.
But i find bhb people quite amusing. lol.
Bhb-ness and pround-ness are 2 different things to me. haha.
I'm still in the midst of finding the meaning in life and the point in living. cos i'm confused. you live, you go through things in life, WOW, its so meaningful, you lead a wonderful life. but so what?! you still eventually and inevitably DIE and bring nothing along with you. not your morals, not your values, not your experiences.

The weirdest of weirdest:
Sometimes when i'm bored and am feeling nothing at all, i peel my lips or skin on my fingers to instill some pain and shock, like what i'm doing now. at least its some form of feeling, rather than let my brain and nervous system rot.


Wow, 80 over stuff. i think thats enough for today. oh man.. after so long, I STILL FEEL BORED! nevermind.

at least you got an insight to my locked up mind. haha.