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Thursday, October 19, 2006

1st day of getting back results.

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asdlfkjhnkwehrchkdhfcsmenrkcxhdjcfhnejhkrhkxdhrbcmenhrjdifcs
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cjseghrbjhxjdgriwoieurbmjnxdubrvjxegrkviuysdnichnkjshkueryvib
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look! so beautiful! lol.

ok, i'm still surviving. got back 4 papers today. and guess what?! i've got like the most beautiful marks anyone can get!

1 A1
1 A2
1 B3
1 B4

so nice right!!
bleargh.

i averaged it out and out of these 4 papers i got a 70. so hopefully tomorrow will be better and my marks will either remain at 70 or 70 and above! *crossfingers!*

but it should be alright. there's maths. there's geog. AND THERE'S CHINESE!!! yep, it should be totally fine.

i hope my chinese will be better than my english. or at least my compos should. like HELLO? how more worse can it get? i think i should really just shut up from now since my languages are so bad, and i cant write or speak well.

is that why my blog's so dry and no one reads it too?

omgosh! breakthrough! i finally figured it out! yay! clever me!

......

but seriously. if what mrs ezra said is true, that compo is the one that reflects your true capability in the language... AHHHH!!! THE HORROR! i should just stop typing this very moment.

I FAILED MY COMPO!!!
what is this?!!!!
AHHHH!! i actually failed!
oh man!
someone kill me!

and singapore education is seriously biased wan lah. that stupid BSP and SAP scholarship.
i cant be a stupid scholar!! BLEARGH!

why?

1. i'm first and foremost NOT a singapore citizen. and it was the no. 1 criteria on the form. fine, i get it!
2. i have to be good in both english and chinese in sec 2, sec 1 and PSLE. considering that both my chinese and english are actually my weakest subjects, why am i even in dunman high, a billingual school? i should be in the school for the dumb. cos thats what i am, dumb.

but anyway, just to console myself about my languages, i wasn't even interested in BSP in the first place. HAHA. i just said all these for fun.

but seriously, maybe i should really just be a total malay. i'd probably do better anyway, and it'll be good for me, then i can communicate to almost everyone again when i go back to malaysia, or i can understand what they're saying about me when they are. haha.

oh ya! talking about that, we still have malay to get back also. haha.

anyway, to sum it all up, i'm just a failure.
just dont talk to me next time you see me. i'd probably be spurting out rubbish anyway. right?

***
dont you just love getting back results? i mean, you get to see how smart you are when you get good results. you get to see how dumb everyone else is when they get lower than you and feel so proud of yourself that you're so accomplished.

when you get back your papers and look through them, or when teacher goes through them, you can just sit back and relax, and realise that hey, you actually know everything already! then you feel so accomplished again that you ~~studied~~ memorised everything thats needed for that one particular exam that year. after that, open up the rubbish bin and you can empty everything in your brain into it. you dont even need it for your life later on anyway, right? it was just needed cos teacher said you have to study it, or it was needed just to do well in that exam, right?

so, ok, weeks before the paper you take out all the materials you need for studying, your thousands of highlighters and your tonnes of paper for copying down notes. sit down at the table and start reading and reading and memorising all that you can. once you finished memorising every single word, even down to the punctuations in the text, you feel the hundreds of pages of textbooks in your brain and ok, you're ready for the exam.

well, i dunno. thats how it is, right?

wrong.

read back, just think opposite then you're on the right track now.

and one last thing. it doesnt pay to be good.
its totally a britney spears, vacuum cleaner and black hole.
trust me.

and after all, its just luck, right?
yeah, so i'm just lucky the whole year then.
if you say so. then i guess you must be right, i'm the dumb one anyway.

oh wait, i just remembered. i don't believe in luck.