I ♥ Music

Monday, September 19, 2005

urgh.. i'm like dreading every single thing now. theres starting to be a problem with me. myself. haiz.. and i realised i dont laugh as easily now. and i also realised that its been a very long since i last laughed a good hearty laugh. haiz.

dread soccer. theres no point in playing now.. if you know what i mean, but you dont. i keep everything to myself nowadays. dont feel like telling anyone. cant anyway.

haiz. and i really dont want to be in the soccer team if i am chosen lahh. i'll only either run around laughing like a crazy person, making all the 'jian jiao sheng yin' (as Tan TG said), or stand around and not really participate, which will mean that i'm not contributing, causing the team not to perform well, and thus 'hai' everyone else. haiz.

haiz.. my father's scolding my brothers again.

oh ya. weird. today when my father came back, when he saw me, the first thing he said to me was you know what?? 'wheres the zen nano plus?' haha. then i was like, shocked. then i told him, 'gor gor told you ar?' then he didnt say anything, but i just showed him all the information lah. then he checked it out lah. haha. then as expected, he got a bit jealous. haha. he told me 'hmmm.. everything almost same as mine what, only that dont have the radio and the voice recorder things.' haha. then i asked him 'how much did you buy yours for?' then he say 'last time very expensive, now no more already.' haha. but i guess it should be ok lah..*cross fingers*

haiz..urgh. tomorrow art EXAM and lit test!! wahh!! art!! i'd better go practise drwing the thing later. lit!! i tell you i'm gonna fail this one again. ahh!! then i havent re-read it yet!! was busy reading another book that my bro's friend lent him. haiz. die. feel like reading it now!!

WAHHH!! exams are coming already!! so fast!! this week is like the last week of this WHOLE YEAR that we will even have tests again!! and after that will be dunno what then EXAMS already!! omg!! really cant believe it. spent 1 year in dunman high already, 1 year with 1G already. whoa. now that i see it, really cant believe it. me, a normal happy-go-lucky student in ABC primary school with a faint, unbrightish future ahead of me, actually getting into my dream school since P5. wow. i cant even believe that i even had a goal. haha. wow. i really must liked dhs alot last time. seeing whatever i've done to get myself into dhs. so lucky, actually got the 20+ vacancies out of the whole other lot of people who appealed also.

haiz. anyway.. nowadays, its so freaky. whenever i fall asleep unconciously, as in, not knowing that i even fell asleep, let alone even knowing that i'm actually asleep, i will dream really WEIRD things. and that's VERY scary.. i will always dream about the real things that are happening in my life. and i will dream that i get into deep trouble doing those things, or not doing those things. or sometimes, the scariest is that i WILL dream that i accidentally fell asleep, like what is happening in real life, and after i wake up exactly on the same spot i was sleeping in real life(in the dream), my life will sort of continue, and bad things will happen like i forgot to do something which i needed to do in real life at that time, then i will start to really panic, as in those kind of situations where your concentration span will shorten and not know whats going on around you just that you are panicking. urgh. scary, then when i'm about to be punished or when i'm about to face the consequences, i suddenly wake up again*phew*. but its scary lah. then sometimes i cannot even tell the difference if its a dream or its real life. haiz. urgh, this is probably in my dream also. bleargh. if it is, when i wake up, i'm not gonna type his post all over again. haha.

haiz. think i better stop here now. dont think i'm gonna blog soon. seldom blog anymore.. wah, but its actually 4 days only. 4 days i didnt blog and it feels like a mighty long time. haha. haiz. life is getting too stressing and complicating for me. dont know why, dont know how. doubt it is for you. but it ALWAYS is for me. even in primary school. during parent teacher conferences, my mother always asked the teachers if they give us a lot of homework cos i seem to be stressing alot most of the time (although i dont look like it), then obviously the teachers will say no cos they really dont. the problem lies in me. i dont know why, where, how, or what. it just is. haiz. but weird, these daysnot much work anymore what, but i seemed more stressed. probably cos there ISNT ANY work at all that makes me so... urgh, nothing to do. but really, i DO prefer if i'm more.. busy with work all the time. like in primary 6. wah.. a lot of work to do wan.. everytime come back from school, slack, then after dinner start doing homework, then do until 12, 1+am then sleep. haha. then at least my brain is working all the time. just like during tests. when i do the questions, i didnt even know i even KNOW how to do them. haiz.

oh ya. speaking of dinner just now. i just remembered that i havent eaten my dinner today. i FELL ASLEEP JUST NOW AFTER I CAME BACK FROM SCHOOL, AFTER I HAD MADE PLANS ON WHAT TO DO FOR TODAY!! and i dreamt whatever i said just now, and when i woke up in my parents room, i thought it was like, past midnight already, then i thought my parents were sleeping outside cos i was in their room. but luckily when i checked the time, it was only 7.24pm. then.. WAH!! 7.24 already arr?!! haha. haiz.

k lah. really stop here already lah. cant believe you even read till here. i bet you skip and come straight to the end. haha. haiz. k lah. bye.